How the Communion Table preaches to those struggling with Eating Disorders

It was a few Sundays ago, and I swayed gently as I sang these words along with my dear congregation.

“The body of our Savior Jesus Christ, torn for you, eat and remember. 
The wounds that heal, the death that brings us life, paid the price to make us one. 
So we share in this bread of life, and we drink of His sacrifice, 
As a sign of our bonds of grace, around the table of the King.” {The Gettys & Townend}

My gaze slid to the Communion Table mere feet away, the white linen tablecloth, the golden trays holding the precious symbols of a slain Savior’s sacrifice for us.

Suddenly my breath caught and tears began hotly filling my eyes. I sat down and grabbed my iPhone and began frantically typing these words down.

What if the Communion Table is preaching to our eating disorders?

The body of our Lord, torn for you. The wounds that heal. The death that brings us life.

It’s all been done. Victory has been won. Our deepest sin and death has been defeated.

Yet we tear ourselves open with scissors and knives. We empty our bellies into buckets.
We starve ourselves into walking wounded. We smile and laugh and refuse to eat.
We maim and wound and die a million times as we look in the mirror and say “not enough”. We refuse bread, we turn down wine, and we lose sight of Jesus.

We lose sight of Jesus. 

The body of Jesus, torn for you: Enough. 

The wounds on his back, his pierced hands and feet, the crown of thorns slashing open his brow….his side gushing blood and water: For You.

His Body, the bread. His Blood, the wine. 

His bloodlines, His heritage, His inheritance, His everything, His family, His crown, His robe, a seat next to Him in an endless array at the marriage feast of the Lamb.

How could we miss this imagery and portraiture so easily when it’s right in front of us every single Sunday? When it’s laid out in stark relief to our fading world?

He is what we could never be: a true sacrifice that would heal us.

We want desperately to be in control. We want desperately to run our own lives. We want completely and utterly and always to be the best. To live up to every magazine hype, or maybe just to your model friends who look better in bikinis or skinny jeans.

We want so so so much to be the individual kings of our world, all the while coming into the House of Worship every Sunday to visit a King who spilled His blood to give you what you could never earn, to die a death you could never die, to be the Sacrifice to a Holy God that would be our healing. Our LIFE. Our literal God breathed LIFE. Our Eternal LIFE.

The blood that cleanses every stain of sin, shed for you, drink and remember. 
He drained death’s cup that all may enter in, to receive the LIFE of God.” 

The same Savior Who hung on the cross has already healed us in a way we can’t even begin to see or understand. He’s made us holy. He’s given us righteousness that won’t fade. He’s given us a beauty that shines with a radiance we can’t see in this world.

And every time we choose what tries to kill us over Jesus, oh, it must break His heart, because the Savior didn’t die so you could bleed out on a bathroom floor.

He died so that you might have life abundantly, and that life abundantly doesn’t give room to eating disorders or self harm. That life abundantly doesn’t share a dang thing with death. 

Your eating disorder will never love you. Your self harm scars will never love you.
Your tiny clothes will never love you. You will never see beauty in the mirror unless you are looking at it and seeing the beautiful Bride Jesus died for staring back at you.

Nothing can or ever will be able to do what only Jesus can do: heal you.

The One Who gives abundant life desires us to LIVE and live abundantly.

If we weren’t supposed to be living today, we wouldn’t be. You and I, we are living for a great purpose, and not a day of it is to be wasted on wondering if we were still meant for this world. We are, because…..God has written the number of all our days, before there were any of them {Psalm 139:16}. You ARE meant for great things in this life, and God has meant you to live them. Here. Now. This day. Tomorrow. You are meant to be alive right now. You are meant to be breathing, resting, hoping, LIVING.

Bread of life, a body broken already for us, for life abundantly not lived in bonds to the diseases that would kill us, that Satan would love love love to kill us with.

“We’ll join in the feast of Heaven, around the table of the King.” 

I wrote a friend tonight through tears while writing this article and said I just couldn’t wait until the New Heavens and New Earth when I’d look down the table at the glorious feast, and see all my friends who have struggled with eating disorders, with radiance on their faces and smiles unchecked, EATING, and knowing it was all good. If you’ve ever known or loved anyone who has struggled with these issues, there are probably tears on your face right now like there are on mine. It is a deeper pain than words can explain.

Oh, friends, in the drinking and the eating and the shaming and the agony and the bleeding and the throwing up and the longing to be perfect and in control…..we’ve let go of the most precious “savior” we could cling to, the only Savior that could heal. Jesus. 

If the very One Who made You sustains Your every breath, isn’t it enough to live for? Isn’t He enough to live for? Isn’t He enough for you? Isn’t He enough for me? This temporary life will go by so so fast, and then we shall see what we’ve been suspecting all along. Our lives, though broken, though shattered, though agonizing, were worth it to live for Jesus.

I looked hard at the Communion Table that Sunday, and saw something deeper that shattered untruths hiding deep in my soul and my soul cried at the beauty it saw there.

We’ve missed something beautiful.

He’s there before us in the shimmering glory of the Communion Table. He’s right there next to you in the fight against your deepest scars. He’s hearing the prayers of those advocating for you. And He’s proclaiming that YOU don’t have to be enough, because He is forever enough for you. It’s there in the bread and wine on the bright white linen tablecloth. “This is my Body, broken for you. This is my Blood, spilled for you. Take, eat, do this in remembrance of Me.” It’s a profoundly life-altering, heart-shifting truth.

That in these tangible things we eat and sip with our community of believers and saints, in these small things we tenderly cradle in our hands, lies a promise that shouts of a victory gained by a beautiful One we long to see and long to belong to. And we do. 

We belong to that King. That Savior. We’re made whole and healed by Him. For anyone who has ever suffered greatly, it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard.

After that Sunday, I will never look at the Communion Table the same way ever again. Imagery and parables, yes. A simple hymn, yes. But the beauty will remain.

So drink the wine, don’t turn away the bread. See His hands offering it to you.

And abide and rejoice in a life abundant because Jesus is enough. 

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