Turning 29, and 3 things I know to be true –

29 years ago in the dark before the dawn of the morning, I was born: a 5lb 12 oz baby girl with bright red carrot hair. I was almost immediately placed in my parents arms, and loved instantly and completely: “It’s a girl! and she has red hair!”.

It’s been a beautiful life so far, and so turning 29 years old today seems like a gift.
A big gift, considering this last year.

Turning 29: it’s not as startling as I thought it would be. It is, after all, just another day.
Birthdays make me introspective. I’ve been thinking deeply about what another day means and looks like, and further, what another year looks like in the season of life I am in right now.

This season is hard and confusing and I feel a tad like a little ship that is adrift on a stormy sea. I need truths to hold tight to, things to dwell on in the middle of the night, to preach to my heart in the dawn of the morning.

So here are 3 core things I know to be true:

 1. He has good for us

This good. It’s not a human good. It’s not a “dream come true” good. It’s a good that surpasses what our human-minds-can-dream-up-good. It’s a “beyond what we could ask or imagine” good. I saw that goodness revealed when I met my brother in law and saw him pursue and love my sister and care for his own little son. It was a “beyond” moment that God fulfilled after years of prayers for my dear sister. We continue to say “Thank God for Ben” continually. This is just one example of the millions of “beyond” good moments we all have, if we just take a moment to look back and dwell on the GOOD God has done.

We are self proclaimed “American Dreamers”. We think we reach a higher pinnacle of dreaming more than any other country and accomplish more. We don’t even hit the bottom of the mark of what God has planned for us; we can’t begin to dream up its beauty.

A few months ago, in a dark season of my soul, I took a piece of chalk and wrote in large letters on a small chalkboard: “He has GOOD for us.”. In the deep pain, in the loss, in the moments when our dreams fall apart and we don’t have exciting ones to fill it….

God’s goodness remains unchanged. And His good for us remains unchanged. 
The GOOD He has planned for us finds its drawing well in His sovereignty.

It may take years of feeling unmoored in a stormy sea, but don’t doubt that His care for you will one day be plain to your eyes, and you will say, “He has GOOD for me.” 

“When the Lord brought back the captivity of Zion, we were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing. 
Then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”
The Lord has done great things for us, and we are glad.” {Psalm 126:1-3}

“You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” {Psalm 23:5-6}

2. He is worth following to the ends of the Earth

This year I’ve had months when I’ve been closer to God than I have in the past 10 years, and I’ve also had months when I’ve dragged myself to church and sat in the second row trying not to cry my eyes out Sunday after Sunday because none of it felt real.

And all that it has taught me is that Jesus is worth it. He’s worth it when everything you were dreaming for falls apart, the little boy you love with all your heart is halfway across the world and not in your arms, when your friends lose their children and you have no words. When you stare yourself down and don’t know what to do with your life.

Jesus. Is. Worth. It.

The days when I’ve 100% stepped out into the dark and expected nothing except for God to show up and show me something/anything, He has. He won’t let you fall. He is leading you through the darkness and holding you on the stormy seas and whispering to you in the most beautiful sunset. He is preaching to you in your pain: Trust Me. He can be trusted. He can be trusted with everything you can’t be, and can’t do. He is trustworthy!

The God Who pursues us and is faithful when we are unfaithful is worth following today, tomorrow, next year, every year we have. It’s the only life worth living, one loving Jesus. It is, after all, what we were created for. To know and love the One Who loves us the most.

3. He is perfecting a good work in us

This Sunday I taught my 5th graders about Heaven and as we were reading through Revelation 21, I asked them what they were looking forward to most about Heaven. Without hesitation, my sweet student I’ve known since she was born looked up with shining eyes and said “To not have sin in me anymore!”. She knows. I know. We all know.

The more I live on this earth, and the more I see my sin, the more I long for a sinless heart, a sinless body, a sinless world. Sin has broken our world and it breaks our hearts.

I long for the perfection that I know we were made in. We all ache with our dying world that groans for the Creator to come and redeem it from death as written in Romans 8:19-24.

We will not be perfect or perfectly holy in this life, because that is not possible here, nor is it what our perspective of perfection should drive us to. Trying for perfection ourselves will slowly kill us and kill our worship of our perfect Savior.

Our sin and lack of righteousness now is not meant for us to seek our own perfection (for we could never keep the Law), but to look to the One Who is our righteousness. 

We cannot and could never be what we need most: a Savior who would redeem us.
But Jesus can, and is, and has accomplished for us what we could not: Holiness.

How then could we ever be discouraged that He will bring us to sinlessness at the end of our lifetimes? He will bring us in as He has promised, as the angels sing in welcome, and He will announce to us what we’ve been believing and hoping for all along: Forgiven.

Beloved Bride of Christ. Forgiven. Accepted. Holy. Perfect. Healed. Sinless. Forever.

“being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you
will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”
{Philippians 1:6}

When we look at ourselves, we despair of all the sin we see. Don’t keep your eyes there.
Look up at the cross. Look at the empty grave. Look at the shimmering throne.
Look to Jesus. Know that your sin debt is paid in full and you are gaining a glory better than anything you could have ever dreamed and God is bringing it about in you even now.

And that love and grace and mercy rests upon you NOW. It does not wait until Heaven to be revealed, but is placed upon us as an invisible crown of His love. YOU, His Beloved Bride of Christ. Forgiven. Accepted. Holy. Perfect. Whole. Healed. Sinless. Heirs of glory.

For your 29th year. And for all the days of your life. Forever.

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